Anthony Davis may have effectively ruined his career with a twitter poll and a razor

What's transpired between Anthony Davis, a twitter poll and a razor may have ruined what's been a fantastic young career.

Since his emergence as one of the game’s greatest prospects, Anthony Davis has been recognized for one thing: his unibrow. Nevermind the physical dominance, vast basketball IQ and masterful skill of the 6’11” bigman, Davis is known for that fuzzy thing perched upon his forehead.

But now, Davis seems to have made a huge mistake. Let’s start from the beginning:

On March 28th at 12:48 PM MST, Anthony Davis posted this Twitter poll asking something that no one believed would ever be asked:

First off, why would Davis put this decision in the hands of the general public? This is not only his personal brand, but his namesake. Furthermore, New Orleans, which is not a basketball city by any means, essentially branded their team based on this guy’s unibrow. Shouldn’t he check in with General Manager Dell Demps before opening up such a lifealtering decision to the public?

Nevertheless, 51 percent of 631,067 voters selected “Yep” in this Twitter poll. I’ll be the first to admit that I hit the “Nah” button faster than DeMar Derozan pulling up a contested midrange jumper but not for any reason other than the integrity of AD’s career. The numbers back up the fact that Davis performs better with his unibrow intact.

Anthony Davis has put up a total of 9,437 career-points with the unibrow. He’s blocked 965 shots in less than six seasons and has managed to grab 4,167 rebounds all with the brow. Davis’ career stats without the unibrow: 0 points, 0 blocks and 0 rebounds; a major dropoff to say the least.

On March 31, 2018, Davis made the worst mistake of his life and posted this:

There’s a saying: If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. Not only is this the end of an era, but it might be the worst marketing move in the history of the NBA. Yes, worse than the ongoing tirade of Ron Artest’s fists and elbows.

Now he needs a new nickname and the only person who can really change their nickname is Shaq because he has about 541,983,348,106,194,093,019,623 to choose from. Anthony Davis is a fine name but let’s be real, he had a great nickname to rely on. Commentators can’t call him ‘The Brow’ if he no longer has the Brow. What are we supposed to call him, ‘The Brows?’

And yet there’s still hope for Davis’ brow and the New Orleans Pelicans’ team store revenue. Many suggest that this is all part of an elaborate April Fools Day scheme planned by Davis himself. This would make sense, given that Davis will hit the hardwood on Easter Sunday for a marquee matchup against Russell Westbrook, Paul George, Melo, Steven Adams and… Raymond Felton? Yikes.

At the 0:40 mark of the video, Davis drops his phone and the screen goes black. When he picks his phone back up, the Brow is separated into two eyebrows. This is extremely convincing and there’s a good chance that he did actually decide to shave the thing. But what if Davis did not actually shave the unibrow and is trying to grab some national attention for what may be a preview of the Pelicans’ first round playoff matchup? What if this is an elaborate ruse brought about to gain some clout and have some fun?

I couldn’t tell you anything about the makeup or prosthetics suggested by NBA Twitter, but I won’t rule it out. The only way to know for sure is to tune in when AD hits the court on Easter. Just like Jesus, the unibrow may be resurrected on Sunday.

If the unibrow is really gone for good, then I'd like to thank it for it's contributions to the upbringing of one of the greatest talents to ever grace a basketball court. Yes, I'm already willing to say that 25-year-old Davis is one of the best to ever play the game. There is literally nothing that he cannot do on either side of the floor besides maybe a cartwheel, but I wouldn't be surprised if he pulled one out at midcourt in the playoffs.

If he can keep it up and stay healthy, if Rajon Rondo can get along with his teammates and coaches, if Jrue Holiday can continue what's been his best campaign since he was an all star and if guys like Darius Miller and E'twaun Moore can hit open three's when their opportunities are given then this team may be able to make a postseason splash, but it won't be easy without the Big Easy's beloved Brow.

---